Memoir Self-Help Feminism

Untamed (Summary)

by Glennon Doyle

At a zoo, Glennon Doyle watched a cheetah named Tabitha perform in a show. The zookeeper explained that Tabitha had been raised with a Labrador retriever to keep her 'tame' and docile. As the sleek, powerful cheetah chased the goofy dog's dirty tennis ball, a single thought burned in Doyle's mind: 'She's forgotten she's a cheetah.' This moment sparked a revelation: millions of women have also been tamed, taught to ignore their wild instincts and live in cages of societal expectation.

Be the Cheetah

We are all born wild, but society trains us to be 'tamed,' suppressing our instincts to fit into manageable roles. The goal is to unlearn this conditioning and reclaim your inner cheetah.

Doyle uses the story of the zoo cheetah, Tabitha, as a recurring metaphor. Raised with a lab, the cheetah learned to be placid and live within her enclosure. Doyle saw herself in Tabitha—a woman who had built a 'perfect' life by society's standards, only to realize she was living in a cage, having forgotten her own power and wildness.

Trust Your 'Knowing'

Your truest guide isn't external advice or societal rules, but a deep, quiet intuition Doyle calls your 'knowing.' Learning to hear and trust this voice is the key to an authentic life.

Before meeting her wife, Abby Wambach, Doyle felt a constant, low-grade hum of anxiety in her first marriage. It was her 'knowing' telling her something was wrong, even though she couldn't logically explain why. The moment she saw Abby, that same knowing said, 'There she is,' with an undeniable certainty that set her on a new path.

Pain is a Messenger, Not a Problem

We are taught to numb or avoid pain. Doyle argues that pain is a vital signal from your true self, inviting you to pay attention, burn away what's false, and grow.

When her daughter Tish was labeled 'too sensitive,' Doyle rejected the idea that this was a flaw. Instead, she reframed it as a superpower. She told Tish, 'Your sensitivity is your canary in the coal mine,' a gift that helps her feel what's wrong in the world and points toward what needs to be made right.

Imagination is the Key to Liberation

You can't become what you can't imagine. To break free from societal cages, you must first imagine a truer, more beautiful life for yourself, even if you've never seen it before.

Doyle explains that women are often only given two choices: be a martyr (self-sacrificing) or be selfish. She chose to imagine a third way, where being true to herself was the most generous thing she could do for her family, modeling for her children how to live a full, authentic life.

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