Psychology Business Big Ideas

Give and Take: Why Helping Others Drives Our Success (Summary)

by Adam Grant

Who are the most and least successful people in any organization? You might think ruthless 'takers' dominate the top and generous 'givers' sink to the bottom. The truth is far more surprising: givers occupy both extremes. The most successful people are givers, but they practice a specific, strategic form of generosity that prevents them from becoming doormats.

Givers Finish Last—and First

The success ladder has a surprising structure. The bottom is filled with 'selfless' givers who burn out from helping others at their own expense. However, the very top is also dominated by givers—'otherish' givers who are ambitious for others but also keep their own interests in view.

A study of salespeople found that the lowest performers were givers, with an average annual revenue of $98,000. But the highest performers were also givers, bringing in over $240,000—outperforming both takers and matchers. They succeeded by building deep trust and long-term relationships that paid off.

The 5-Minute Favor

The most effective givers don't sacrifice their lives for others. Instead, they practice high-impact, low-cost giving. The '5-minute favor' is any small act of help you can provide in five minutes or less, like making an introduction or offering a piece of feedback.

Adam Rifkin, a Fortune magazine 'best networker,' built his legendary Silicon Valley reputation by constantly asking, 'What can I do to help you?' and then executing small favors. He would connect two people with a quick email or share a relevant article, acts that took moments but created immense value and goodwill.

Takers Kiss Up and Kick Down

Takers are masters of impression management, often appearing charming and generous to those in power. To spot a taker, you must look at how they treat their peers and subordinates—people who can't directly help them.

Enron CEO Kenneth Lay cultivated a public persona of generosity and community involvement, donating millions to charity. Internally, however, he fostered a 'rank and yank' culture where employees were pitted against each other, revealing a 'taker' mentality that prioritized his own gain over the well-being of his team.

The Power of Powerless Communication

Contrary to popular belief, asserting dominance isn't always the best way to persuade. Givers often use 'powerless communication'—asking questions, admitting weaknesses, and seeking advice. This vulnerability builds trust and makes others more receptive to their ideas.

An expert salesperson was trying to sell new eyewear to a skeptical client. Instead of listing features, she said, 'I'm not sure if our new collection is a good fit for you, but I'd love to get your expert opinion.' By seeking advice, she disarmed the client, who then became an engaged partner in evaluating the product and ultimately made a large purchase.

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