Psychology Self-Help Personal Development

13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do (Summary)

by Amy Morin

Why do some people bounce back from devastating tragedy while others are crippled by minor setbacks? The difference isn't what happens to them, but a single, corrosive habit they refuse to indulge in: feeling sorry for themselves. It’s not an uncontrollable emotion, it's a choice—and it's the gateway to giving away your power.

They Don't Waste Time Feeling Sorry for Themselves

Mental strength begins with trading self-pity for gratitude. Feeling sorry for yourself is an active choice that keeps you stuck in a cycle of negativity and prevents you from healing and moving forward.

After losing her mother and her husband in quick succession, author Amy Morin consciously chose to focus not on the unfairness of her loss, but on gratitude for the time she did have with them. This single shift allowed her to find purpose instead of being consumed by grief.

They Don't Give Away Their Power

Blaming others for your feelings or circumstances gives them control over you. Mentally strong people take full responsibility for their own emotions and choices, understanding that they are the only ones in charge of how they react.

When a coworker makes a passive-aggressive comment, instead of letting it ruin your day ("He made me so angry!"), a mentally strong person recognizes their own emotional response ("I am feeling angry because of his comment, but I won't let it control my actions") and chooses how to respond productively or simply let it go.

They Don't Shy Away from Change

Mentally strong people view change not as a threat, but as an inevitable and often positive part of life. They remain flexible and are willing to adapt rather than waste energy resisting the unavoidable.

Instead of fearing a new boss or a company restructuring, a mentally strong person focuses on what they can learn from the new leadership or how they can contribute to the new direction, seeing it as a chance for growth rather than a reason for anxiety.

They Don't Expect Immediate Results

True self-improvement and success take time and consistent effort. Mentally strong individuals understand that setbacks are part of the process and they persevere with patience, rather than giving up when they don't see instant gratification.

Someone trying to get physically fit doesn't quit after a week because they don't see a six-pack. They understand that progress is measured in months and years of consistent workouts and healthy eating, celebrating small wins along the way without being discouraged by slow progress.

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